22 Month Old Question Help

8 Replies
DANI - November 9

My son is sweet most of the time but it seems like when we have a playdate at our house he becomes super active, and very personable (which is great) with the other toddlers, like, giving them more of an aggresive hug (almost like he's going to tackle them down but doesn't) but I constantly have to remind him to be gentle and nice, and he becomes overly protective over his toys and doesn't really dig the fact of other toddlers playing with his toys, and just overall I feel like i'm constantly telling him "no" don't take take the toy out of his or her hand or "give it back, please" or "can you please share your toys with him" I feel like the other toddlers that come to our house are completely opposite of my son and they seem to be more mellow and not ripping toys out of my sons hand and jumping around everywhere. I know a lot of it has to do with him approaching 2 yrs old and not understanding the meaning of sharing, but I just feel like such a loser sometimes when I dont' have control over the situation and the other kiddo is acting like an angel. Is there any other mamas that are going through this same situation as me??? It seems like he really only acts like this at his house only. Thanks for your help.

 

DANI - November 9

Oh, and one more thing to add to this, I feel like the other mom is judging me like why is your kid acting like this. I know I shouldn't care what they think but it bothers me.

 

Question - November 9

Your son is geting close to two, which his actions are very normal. Maybe try some time out for him if several verbal attemps fail and do time out away from the others. And let him know what he is doing is wrong in private.

 

another Karen - November 10

Maybe create something to do for the kids which is not defined by ownership. Like making up playdough, dividing it and handing each child his own to play with for example. Take a plastic tablecloth to the park if there's one with a table. I guess it depends on how many kids there are and what their mothers can handle mess wise.

 

sashasmama - November 10

Well, one thing is that you are having playdates at your house, that means he feels more comfortable there than the other children. Does he do the same at other locations? Other child might be an angel at your house, but a little monster, like most of them are, at their house. My daughter is a very smart child, she's composed and mature for her age (2 in december), but as soon as you put her in the middle of a few other toddlers all that changes, they just get too excited and can't control themselves. It's so funny though. And another thing I learned is that they DO NOT LISTEN TO YOU when they are around other kids expecially, what works is letting them know in a physical way, like firmly moving him to another spot, or grabbing his arm to get his attention and then calmly telling him to share, that gets their attention.

 

claire83 - November 10

i studied children at college i have four daughters myself and this is normal behaviour children learn through play and at this stage in your sons development they like to play alone, keep the interaction with other children going though as it will help him learn etc also if he has no siblings then he is not used to sharing i have no doubt that if your son was at one of the other childrens home setting with thier toys they would react the same if in the same situation etc

 

cae - November 12

I asked the same question as sashasmama. Does he act like this outside your home, when you aren't nearby? Ethan(22 monthst) acts like a little monster when we have playdates in our home, but when he goes to toddlercare(daycare) he is around 7 other kids his age, and is well behaved. Atleast, I can see it in the webcam and his teacher tells me. My ped told me at this age he would push the b___tons of the ones he know the best, (me) and will listen to the ones he does not know very well, (is this case, his teacher).

 

in the woods - November 16

About sharing - this last year my dd cried a lot of tears as my son (almost 3 now) would be aggressive in protecting his toys or grabbing her toys away from her. All this year I spent explaining to her that he would understand sharing when he would be close to 3 years old. Basically, I was asking her for understanding, though she herself is only 4.5 now. The reason I was doing this was remembering her own developmental milestones - she was aggressive, she could not stand seeing toys in her brother's hands when she was 2 - 2.5 (he was under one at that time and could care less when she was grabbing his toys away, so that was less of a problem at that time). And she did get the concept of sharing at around 3. My son is sweet and gentle by nature, but this age, 2-3, is tough, when they learn to a__sert themselves. He's getting closer to his 3rd bd now, and things are getting easier. As well, in a pre-school where they go, he is a nice boy, taking and giving. It is a tough period, with all the looks from strangers, but it will pa__s.

 

kvilendrer - November 17

I agree with the other moms. This is very normal for a 2 year old. At my son's second birthday, he wouldn't talk to anyone. If any of the kids came near him, he screamed at them. And so what if the other mothers judge you?? I had to get over worrying about that. My husband's family used to outright call me a bad mother. They used to tell me that because I let my son CIO, that I neglected him. But I know the truth. I love my son to death and take wonderful care of him. Sorry to stray...anyways, this is totally normal and he will grow out of it.

 

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