How Do I Go About Getting Sole Custody Of My Son

6 Replies
sassychick - September 26

Hi all. My son is 14 months old and his father and I are not married and since he was born we've never had a custody agreement. We have always lived together in my townhouse (everything’s in my name). To make a long story short we have had a rocky relationship for 3 years now and I've finally seen the light and have realized this just isn't going to work out. Unfortunately he can be mean and vindictive at times and my fear is when I tell him it’s over and its not going to work that he could possibly try and take our son from me. I'm hopping to avoid that possibility but I don't know what the legal steps are that I need to take to ensure this will not happen. By the way, I'm the sole provider for my son financially if that makes any difference and I do not receive child support from his father. I’m trying to plan ahead for this breakup and get all my ducks in a row before I tell him it’s over. Any advice that anyone can share would be greatly appreciated.


inuk-mama - September 26

Talk to a lawyer, or get some legal aid. I doubt that your soon to be ex would get custody since you say you are the sole provider for your son, but good idea to have everything prepared. So talk to a lawyer, and find out what legal steps need to be taken to prevent him from taking your son away.


drea - September 26

I agree, I am a paralegal and my husband is a lawyer so I see this stuff all the time. You should definetly go talk to a lawyer who specializes in this area which would most likely be a divorce lawyer (even though your not married they usually handle custody issues as well). Just as a suggestion though, i wouldnt mention this to your sons father in advance b/c you said he is a vindictive person, so he may not take it very well. good luck, I hope it all works out ok.


Missy - September 26

sa__sy - what state do you live in? I am a family law paralegal and am VERY familiar with these types of cases - it's what our office specializes in!


sa__sychick - September 26

Thanks to all that have responded thus far. Missy, I live in North Carolina. Drea, I don't plan on telling him anything until I'm prepared and ready. It may be a few months from now before I actually break it off because he currently takes care of our son while I work so I'm looking into daycares, just in case he gets mad enough and says he will no longer help me with his care while I'm working, which I know he would only do to spite me because he really does love his son and he's good with him but he's not the responsible parent, I am. If he did anything it would be to hurt me and he has made comments before when we were fighting that he would just take his son and leave and I don't know how serious he was but I don't take that threat lightly because you never know what someone will do.


sa__sychick - September 26

Missy, any advice or tips you can give me would be great. Thank you!


jessb - September 26

Definitely if you can afford it get some legal advice. Go to family court and get a custody/visitation agreement ironed out in a court order so there will be no funny business on his part. Any judge will see that you are the sole provider and a loving and appropriate mother to your ds.



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