More Than A Little Frustrated

8 Replies
southern_gurly83 - April 17

Ok I have twin boys who just turned 26 months. Obviously I realize that trying to do all the basics of toddler care is going to be double the fun(?) with two but I'm really starting to get to the end of my rope with them. To start off, both of them have speech problems. They will babble and talk to themselves and each other but not really to me or their Daddy to ask for what they want. We've had them working with a speech therapist for a while but it's going slow. I know they understand what we're saying because they will follow simple directions but they're both just having problems with expressing themselves to us. So that's kind of making everything else difficult too. Neither of them will keep a diaper on. I've had endless advice on potty training but they really don't seem all that interested in going on the potty either, they just don't want clothes or diaper on. And how am I supposed to potty train them if they can't tell me they need to go? Also they're becoming terrific little escape artists....they can unlock all the doors in the house, climb the baby gates and the fence in the backyard....I'm going out of my mind. Just to clarify, no, I don't have any family around to really help out. Hubby is in the military so he is gone quite a bit and frankly I'm starting to feel like I am the world's worst mother! I can't keep these two under control and I just don't know what to do anymore...I've tried everything I can think of! I do know that I am completely sick and tired right now. Any advice on maybe potty training twins or how to get one to stop biting (bad bites, not just little bites) the other and get them to obey without beating them would be appreciated.


Bridget - April 17

Hi, I'm not a mom of twins (but my hubby is a twin and I've heard the stories from mom-in-law). I do have a very active 3 yo and I've often looked at him and been grateful, as much as I love him, that there is only one of him. Doors--high up latches (eye and loop are easy to put in yourself). Since toilet training is probably a bit in the future, try using onsies again. They make them up to 36 months I think, my guy is kinda slim so he can still fit in the 24 months, they stretch alot.I have to use them because my son scratches his b___t at night. He gets a bath every day but for some reason his fanny cheeks itch, tmi maybe but there you have it.He isn't potty trained either BTW at 3y 2m. I figure you have hardly any time to do chores (let alone time to like--wash your hair or go potty yourself)but here's something that I might try if I were in your shoes. I take it you're a SAHM? If you are and the boys still take naps, try doing something really, really active (park, ride on toys, running after bubbles or kites)and giving them your absolute attention for say an hour or so, right before or after lunch, whenever their "right before naptime" is and then they will at least be A: tired out at least somewhat and B: had a big chunk of Mommy time. That tends to chill my son out. If he feels like I'm trying to do too much and splitting my time up(like cook HIS dinner, haha)he starts doing the craziest stuff to get my attention (stomping on the table,couch diving, head first of course, climbing anything and waiting for me to come see why he's so quiet)He sounds like a terror but he is a sweet kid, really! If I just give him about 15 minutes or so when we get in from work/daycare where I'm not trying to do other things at the same time, he unwinds and then is watching Thomas or Caillou or whatever while I cook.I usually tell him that Mommy has to go cook dinner or whatever a couple minutes before I have to do it, like a warning.He's not even clingy, he just wants a few minutes, it's funny. I feel for you because I have occasionally thought I'd go nuts and I only have one. I also can't imagine doing so much if my husband were away. I hope I could help a little and keep in mind, they'll get bigger eventually. Also, make a huge deal of it (high fives or good job! or whatever) if they do something you really want them to keep doing, like cleaning up or listening when you say, no biting. And try not to yell (I know it's hard,LOL) except when you seriously mean it. I yell when my son runs away outside or if he spits on the floor, a new charming habit Daddy taught him when brushing his teeth, thanks!


Wellis10 - April 18

Ok, if they are having trouble expressing themselves and talking to you. I wouldn't worry to much about potty training. It sounds like they are not ready and neither are you. I have been potty training my 2 yr old and it very frustrating. And even the littlest bit of frustration that my 2 yr old can see makes it worse. I wouldn't worry about it or stress your self. People should understand that you are going through alot just getting them to bed at night. LOL. Anyhow, Are you anywhere near Virginia Beach. I need help it would be great to have someone else there. I know it can be heck-it, I try really really hard not to yell. but it seems like the older they get the more they don't listen and they are starting to plot on things that they know that they are not suppose to do. I am sorry.....I feel for you. Anyway, i don't have any advice, but to try to find a mommy group in your area. Or preschool. I signed my 2 1/2 yr old up for preschool 2 times a week for 4 hours. It will start in Sept. Most churches have it, you have to call around and find the one the accepts 2 1/2yr olds. It will help them be social and learn shapes, colors and potty time. Anyhow.....good luck


kimberly - April 23

My advice is put a stop to it now rather than later. I know easier said then done. My oldest was a escape artist when he was little and it was scary. I didn't have a clue how to handle it so I just chased after him, and worried if he played outdoors or pretty much anywhere. Looking back that was wrong, everytime they climb the gate or try to get out or run off, it is time to take them in to thier timeout chairs. They must learn this is dangerous and unacceptable. Unfortunately at thier age they don't understand danger well but that is why you have to make it very clear if they break the rule, thier will be something not so fun that follows. I say how important it is to change it now, because it only gets worse with age. My oldest, once he turned 3 was terrible, he would have his seat bealts off and door of car open and running through the parking lot before I could even get out of the car to make sure traffic was clear. Very Bad! He got worse and worse about it, running off in stores ect. I put strict limits on my second and honestly I have never had a huge issue with him. I was always firm and never let him play out after he had tried to escape, always used timeouts for running off, and rewards for being good. I plan to do the same with dd she is 20 months and just now starting to fiddle with the door knob. As for the training, sure you can train if they can't comunicate yet. My dd is almost trained now at 20 months. Both of my boys were trained a bit after thier 2nd birthday. My second was a late talker too and he still trained. Potty training is also all about consistancy. First just introduce it by taking them in there a few times a day to sit on the potty. After they know what it is and what it is for get more serious. Start taking them every 30 mins., even when out at the store, they need to know they can go wherever they are. After about a week of that they should be pretty well trained except for maybe at night. I would switch them to just underwear during the day once they will go poop and pee on the potty. Once they do that they are ready for real pants. However at 26 months I definately wouldn't hault on the training, I think the older you wait the more stubborn they will be.


Floricica - April 26

well.... I Son is 29 months and still babbles. It's called self talk. Most children do it. It's the same thing as us talking in our heads, but they are talking outloud only they dont have enough vocab to make they babble. My son cant pronounce words properly to this day nore is he fully potty trained. AND the clothes taking off and diapers taking off is perfectly normal as well. You sons seem to be developing normal and they dont seen to have any problems. Do they go to daycare????


Floricica - April 26

haha yeah my son does the bunm scratching to. Its so grose if he poops he thinks its cool to touch it...You can only imagine the cleanup


Shea831 - April 26

First of all let me say that if you have twins, you are my hero. I have a two and half year old daughter and sometimes I want to pull my hair out. Potty training. Don't worry about it. They will go when they are ready. My daughter is somewhat potty trained. When she wants praise and a sucker, she will go potty on her own. Thanks to my mom, she gets suckers when she goes in the potty. Every time I go to the bathroom, I put her on the potty. Watch their faces and their actions. They are good indicators that they need to go potty. My daughter squats down or has a look of hard concentration and plays with that area. Talking to themselves or to each other, I have been told this is normal for twins. They have a better connection to each other than they do to anyone else, therefore they will go to each other for what they want. My daughter talks to herself all the time, because there is no one else to talk to that understands her baby talk. I would put safety locks or door knob locks on your doors. I had to do that with mine. As for baby gates, I put mine up higher and even doubled them up on top of each other. With two of them, there is double the brain power. Just try to think like one of them and double it. I also have a problem with the clothes. It would be cold outside( we live in Colorado) and she will still want to run around in a diaper. She stopped taking her diapers off when I made her clean up her mess. Thank God for hard wood floors. I know she's a little young to clean up, and I would help her, but she would have to do it. She didn't like that at all. When I want mommy time, I put her in her room and put up baby gates for an hour, so I can clean, read, or do whatever I need to. Most of the time I sleep. Not very well, because I'm always listening to her. It's hard being 38 weeks pregnant with a toddler. I can't sleep at night and I can't take naps during the day like I did when I was pregnant with her. With out mommy time, I would lose my mind. Good luck to you


southern_gurly83 - April 28

Ladies, this is the first time I've had a chance to get on since I posted that! Thanks to all of you for the replies....just reading thru them and seeing all the advice and encouragement and "I've been there" things has made me feel SOOOOOOO much better now. I think a big part of it is that I had horrible PPD after they were took me almost a year to get to where I felt like I could cope at all. Now I'm starting to feel that same stress/fear/depression thing again and it scares the c___p outta me! Hubby is leaving again in two months time and I absolutely can't fall apart now! Anyway, I'm rambling again.....thanks for the encouragement. I'll try to b*tch and whine too much on here lol! Do have one more question tho....has anyone dealt with a biter? One DS is a BAD to the point of drawing blood. We've done timeouts, no snack, no playtime, and even spanked him. He just doesn't care...I really don't know how my mom did this 8 times!


Shea831 - April 28

My two year old is a bitter. One day she bit me and I bit her back, not as hard as she bit me, but enough to know that it didn't feel good. She still bites every now and then, but she know what it feels like, so she doesn't do it as often. Just give a little " Love Nibble" as my mom calls it. Just don't do it too hard. If you leave teeth marks, then it's too hard. They don't like the feeling of mommy and daddy doing the same thing they just did. It sounds mean, but if you do it right they stop. Just please remember, NOT TOO HARD. As for the B*tching, who else will listen if not the people helping you? I find that if you vent, you feel better and more in control of what is out of control. So b*tch away. It really does help. Good Luck. I hope that helps.



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