Screaming 4 Year Old

6 Replies
poohcma102 - June 7

I have a 4 year old who both my husband and I have been battleing with for a few weeks now. When ever my we ask her to do something like take a bath, go potty or go to bed she starts screaming. She screams like we are killing her. She also starts banging her fists saying no no no. There are some times when I just want to snatch her up and bop her in the mouth. I never do this but it has come across my mind. Could this be because she is jealous of the baby that is coming in Novemeber or could she just be getting difficult? How can I get her to do what we ask without a major meltdown?


rl- - June 7

WELL it could be just a phase I remember my oldest son went thru something sorta like that around the same age and at that time I was going thru a separation from his dad and I figured it had something to do with that and you said you were having another baby and if she knows this which I am sure she does then that maybe a big part of it you just have to maybe take the time to talk to her and find out how she is feeling when she starts acting this way and maybe be very calm yourself when she starts acting up maybe just calmly walk away from her instead of getting all worked up just ignor her while she is screaming and pounding her fists and maybe when she realizes that she is not getting the attention from it then she will stop kwim?


CyndiG - June 7

I agree with rl. I would always tell my dd that I couldn't hear or understand her when she screamed at me. And I would ignore her "request". It would make her so mad but it seemed to work. And one time I was trying to "reason" with her, it wasn't working, so I sat down beside her, screamed and acted just like she was. She thought it was hilarious. It sortof took the "sting" out of it for her. Maybe that would work too. But I agree, it's a phase, but one that needs to be dealt with nonetheless. Good Luck!


sahmof3 - June 7

You could try a penny jar. Start out with so many pennies. If she goes through the routine w/out incident she gets to add a penny, if she screams through them she gets a penny taken away. When she gets to a certain # of pennies she gets a reward of her choosing that is within reason. We've had to do that one with my oldest fora few different problems we were having with his behavior and it seemed to work well.


Laceyandsamsmamma - June 7

I would guess she is going threw a phase and being there is a new baby comming she is probably very jelous maybe you need to put her in a sibling cla__s they have those at the hospitols plus tell her that even though there will be a new baby she will still always be your baby and maybe you should tell her all the good things about a baby like she will get a friend to play with that is her size and that she can help by holding and feeding the baby. make her feel very important about being a big sister now with that being said everytime she has a fit there should be a concequence, we use to make my daughter go to her room with no tv and toys till she calmed down or fell asleep which ever came first and then when she calmed down and could be reasonable she could come out for the first few months I swear she screamed for hours and now not so much at all the threat of going to her room usually stops her dead in her tracks but you cant go in her room and talk to her till she is completely calm and if she starts up again just get up and walk out soon enough she will see that she doesnt get your attention by screaming but by talking by daughter started her battles at 2 when my son came and now at 4 they are best friends he is now 2 lol and the fits are few and far between usually when naps are due. Also fits maybe because she is tired or hungry those are the times my 4 year-old starts hers right now. Good Luck :-)


babybradley - June 8

My son was a over a year when we got pregnant with our 2nd. He became VERY "unlike him" he disobeyed everything we told him and even started throwing tantrums which wasnt him. I started telling him everyday that he was still my baby, he would have to help me take care of the new baby, and even gave him a baby doll and started having him take care of it. He now takes wonderful care of his 9 month old sis and is very happy to hear that he has "another baby" coming. If all that fails then more than likely it is a phase and will be gone with time. Good luck and let me know what happens.


Jenny - June 14

My son is also 4 and we have a 4 month old. Since the baby was born he has been bad, he won't listen he screams, he crys about everything and he was never like this untill we had the baby. We have tried time out, spanking, taking things away but nothing seem to be helping. He will be starting school this year so I am hoping that this will help. We did get him a puppy to take care of and that has helped a little. I wish you luck , I know just what your going through!



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