Worried About My Little Girl Can Anyone Help

24 Replies
twinkletwinkle - February 3

hi i have an eighteen month old daughter she is absolutley wonderful but she has had quite a lot of physical development problems and iam getting more and more worried about her but cant decide if im just being to much of a worry wart! as i said she is eighteen months old and still cannot stand on her own or walk at all this is my biggest concern but there are other things for example she still cannot hold her own beaker or bottle to give herself a drink i still have to do it. In other ways she is extremely bright and advanced she is really good at talking and says a lot of difficult words and is very good with playing with smaller objects. iam not the sort of mother who sees development in children as a race or compet_tion iam just really worried. some people that i have spoken to about it also seem concerned and others seem to think im over reacting, i just dont know what to think im even begining to worried if she might have autism but dont know enough about autism. sorry for the long post just really need somebody to speak to any advice or ideas would be really appreciated. thankyou x


San - February 3

I'm not sure what to tell you. Have you mentioned this to your ped at all? I'm sure s/he would be able to pint you in the right direction. GL


twinkletwinkle - February 3

hi we saw her ped a couple of mnths ago because i finally managed to get him to see her. he was really unhelpful and just gave me the feeling he thought i was over reacting. then to make matters worse he sent us a letter about a mnth after our appointment say hes had an after thought and thinks my lo has an extremely smooth upper lip and he thinks this may have been due to drinking alchol during prgnancy and that if i have another pregnancy i should consider drinking less. i was so upset i burst into tears i didnt drink ANY alchol during my pregnancy not a drop and he said that with out asking me! he said he will see her again on 20th of feb and will be more concerned if she isnt walking by then which at the moment she isnt :(


^lucy^ - February 3

hi twinkle.. im not sure what to say honestly..but i have a 20 months old baby girl and what i can notice is that the only thing that is "missing" in ur daughter is the physical movement.. does she stand by herself or takes few steps on her own? pulls up on furniture? is she crawling instead of walking or doesnt she crawl as well? cz i think at 7 months old babies start to hold up their bottles on their own..ur baby sure sounds smart and special from what u sai she already does...but if i were in ur place i would be very concerned too.. i dont like comparing kids cz each one is unique.. and about autism, i think autistic kids tend to be wanting to stay alone and not talk that much so if u say that ur baby talks already and has eye contact and answers when u call her then i think u shouldnt be concerned about autism..but i think u should see another pedi if ur not comfortable with the one ur already seeing.. good luck :)


andy - February 3

hi ... My mom has a friend which her grandaughter I think has the same as your dd ... She is almost 2 and is crawling just a few months ago and finally plling up and sitting by herself, Don't really know if the holding of the bottle thing too , I'll have to ask ... But you see she was on some ped that told her .. Dont worry every baby is different , but some day she had some kind of high fever and was admited o the ER and after she was all good the ped that saw her there told them that what she has is (sorry dont know the real name ) lazy muscles , that it was nothing to worry and that she will develop everything normal just with some fisical theaphy , the baby was like 18 months and could be sitted if yousat her , but by her own means couldn't even turn , now she is pulling po , crawling and sitting and eveything ... hope I helped a bit , go see another ped that could have a solution for you ,adnd the bottle holding may just come any day now , mommy holding it is much more fun I think ... I think autism is a very different thing ... Good luck !!!! xoxoxo Andrea , mommy of Bianka (10 month old dd who does not want to hold her bottle either ) : )


twinkletwinkle - February 4

hi thankyou so much for your responses its really helpful to be able to speak to people about it! lucy no she doesnt stand by herself or take steps at all but she does pull up on furniture and shuffles along the side of sofa. She has never crawled but is what they call a bum shuffller (sp?) thankyou andy that info was really helpful your friends dd does sound very similar iam going to ask my ped about that the next time we see him.. it is sweeet that she needs me to hold her bottle but shes just getting to the age now where i think she would like to do it herself but doesnt seem to be able to. thankyou you have both been really helpful would love anymore suggestions form anybody x


drea - February 4

Hi Twinkle, sorry your going through this. As mothers we worry about EVERYTHING!! I dont think your overreacting at all. My dd didnt start walking until 15 months, which is on the late side. Have you had your lo's ears checked? I know someone who couldnt understand why their lo wasnt walking and found out that he had ear issues and needed tubes in his ears. Once he got the tubes he was so much better. If they have ear issues it messes with their equilibrium and coordination. Maybe you can get her checked for that. Good Luck


mjvdec01 - February 4

I would take her to your local children's hospital and find out what is going on, they tend to be more thurough and are less likely to b__w off your concerns. You probaby have to go to the children's hospital website, choose a doctor and call his specific office to get seen, but I definitely think it is worth it. You are her mother and usually when a mother has a concern it is valid. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise without an intelligent explaination that satisfies you.


twinkletwinkle - February 4

thankyou so much for your responses! they are really helpful drea its really rea__suring to hear that other people have late walkers everybody elses lo's seem to walk so early! thankyou for your advice an ear problem may well be the case im goin to ask the ped but we have to wait till 20th of feb to see him it may also explain the bottle thing with the balance? mjvdec01 im not sure if the health care system works the same here were in the uk and it has to be an emergency for us to take her to the childrens hospital where we are and they wont cla__s it as one. also we were in the the childrens hospital with her last week because she was ill with a 40 degree temp they were terrible with her she recently turned 18 mnths and we were in the hospital last week with her temp the same doc had been treating her all day and finally came to speak to me prooperly and asked about her medical history i explained she is still not walking etc he looked at me really oddly and asked how old she was i told him 18mnths and hes like oh the nurse told me she was 7 mnths and i didnt think to check the chart! iam so angry about it here in england it feels like nobody knows what there doing has anybody else had problems like this?


cubbie - February 5

hi, my friend's sister is a ped in london (I think at middles_x, but not sure) I will get in touch and ask her advice on where she thinks you should go. BTW where in uk are you? Have you been to Great Ormond Street? I know that the national health is totally pants - maybe you need to think about taking her private. On the issue of walking my brother never crawled and was a bum shuffler too he walked late too just after 18 months and he is the genius of the family, he is a scientist who did his bsc/msc at cambridge and phd at oxford, I was walking at 15 months (btw 14 1/2 is average) and don't have anything more than 5 gcse's so really in the scale of things it doesn't mean anything!!!!!


twinkletwinkle - February 6

hi cubbie we live in bristol in the uk not very close to middles_x and far away from great ormond street unfortunatley we cant afford to go private its very exxpensive here and they take money ouy of our wages every month for the national health service. i have heard that bum shufflers walk a bit later which is encouraging thankyou for your advice its all really helpful it reallly helps coming on here and speaking to people x


punkys-mommy - February 8

I wouldn't worry too much. It sounds to me like she's focusing on developing her mental abilities first. With babies that happens a lot. My dd started walking at 11 months, but hardly spoke a word until she turned 2. Have her checked out, but she's probably just doing things her way instead of the way everyone wants her to do them!


eclipse - February 8

Can you switch pediatricians, firstly? I just switched doctors for a similar reason, I have felt since my son was born that one of the doctors didn't listen to a word I said. There were other reasons as well, but from what you have said and your concerns, you may want to switch doctors. Also, your baby is cruising on furniture so that is excellent, she just may be one of those that will not walk until she is darn good and ready and keep exerting her strong willed nature that way. Have you tried a sippy cup with handles for the bottle? I use the gerber soft top ones with handles, and my son loves holding those, he wouldn't hold his bottle until awhile after holding those. I don't think she is autistic, I think she is just taking her time with milestones. Remember, an average age is the middle of a huge curve of ages that kids develop these skills, she just may be not ready yet. But I would look into another doctor that you like more and are on the same wavelength with, my new pediatrician is fabulous and now I'm kicking myself for not switching to him sooner.


o0LiLy0o - February 8

I have no idea what to say. I live in Canada and my doctor would be very very concerned in this situation. My doctor is also my sons doctor. My son is 15 months. Maybe you should try to go to another doctor. This doesn't sound good at all. If your doctor is sending you letters like that and makeing false accusations, then obviously you are paying the wrong doctor. You need to find a better one. I am not too familiar with the health care systym in The states, but I know that here if a doctor were to do something like that I believe they can get in a lot of trouble. Here they cant even discuss anything about a patient unless they are face to face with you. I have no idea what is going on with your daughter, but she should be able to walk by 18 months. ESPECIALLY because she is a girl. You for sure need to switch the doctor or go to a children's hospital(if there r any). I hope to god you get a new doctor. The fast you figure things out the easier it is to fix the problem. Good luck.


britt_m - February 10

It sounds like she's working hard on developing her cognitive skills, instead of her motor skills. Children usually learn to walk between 9-18 months. The key word: usually. This is the average, the average is a wide gap, it goes over and under that age group, including many many different levels and ages. To her this is not top priority right now. It doesn't sound like she has any physical development problems. We mothers do tend to worry when our children don't follow trend of other little ones. As for the bottle, she's probably just a tad reliant on you, so she doesn't want to, she sounds very smart. She probably figured out that if she totally refused to hold it, you'd do it for her. I'd say give her milk in sippys with handles, that seemed to work alright with my dd. When she does it praise, praise, praise. You could start with having her "help" you hold her bottle/sippy and praise her there, then when she starts doing that, you start loosening the grip until she's holding it herself. It may be a long process so give that time. Is she feeding herself, like finger foods? Also bum shuffling, isn't working certain muscles so that may be why she isn't too interested in walking yet, no worries. Sounds like she's fine, just isn't falling into the text book average. But remember everyone is unique, even children, we all do things are own way. I agree to check out a different pedi even just for one appt, just to get their opinion on her so you may feel a little more at ease. Good luck!


Justine1 - February 10

I think she's probably just a late walker but to be on the safe side I'ld go back to the doctor (possibly you need to change doctors) and get her checked out. The other thing you could do is ask your health visitor - I'm in the UK too. If you are not still seeing your health visitor just call the hospital where they are based and say you are really concerned about your daughter and would like the health visitor to see her. A health visitor should now if its normal or not and if she's concerned what checks need to be carried out. If she's talking fine I'm sure she's not autistic. I've had a few people tell me their children didn't walk until 2 so its probably just she's a late walker but I'ld get her checked out by a professional just to see if their is an issue or not. In the NHS you generally need to make a big fuss to get what you want - just don't take no for an answer and change doctors if needs be. I'ld also complain about that letter saying you drank alcohol whilst pregnant and it affected your baby. Holding a bottle varies a lot - sometimes they don't do it because they prefer waitress service.


twinkletwinkle - February 11

thankyou so much for all of your replies they have been so helpful and supportive. maddys (my daughters) ped rang on friday and actually apoligised to me that doesnt make the way his behaved any better but at least i feel like he now realise he was totally wrong he said that when we seem him at the end of the month he is goin to do some blood test which is really rea__suring at least there making sure there isnt anything wrong now iam begining to feel a lot better and more a__sured that she is taking her own time :)



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