Baby Shower-pg121248401955

5 Replies
Teddyfinch - June 3

I know this isn't the right board, but all the ladies on this board always have great advice and I could use some of that right now. (Long post incoming) *Ok, so I'm only 16w but my big sister has been asking me where I'd like to have my baby shower (a few months away) so that way she can start planning it and getting the invitations ready. I'd like to have it here in my town, not sure where yet, but that's not my problem. * My problem is my family. Not my mother, father, sisters. It's the family beyond that. My aunts and uncles on my mother's side. I had a renewal of vows a few years back because I had gotten married outside the country and decided to have a renewal on our anniversary so family could be there. The invitations went out a little late so I didn't expect many if any at all to be able to make it. I'm not unreasonable. Anyway, I had left an RSVP number at the bottom of the invitations and spent a lot of money on postage (big families, lots of cousins lol) and had gotten a chance to talk to a few relatives that lived about 75 miles away in another town. * Well, I talk to them and ask if they'll be able to make it seeing as how it's on a weekend and I get "absolutely" from a few of them. That was great so I planned on them being there since they said they could. Well, the day shows up and the relatives don't. Not one of my relatives bothered to RSVP and I made the JP wait because I had family that had said they could be there. Well, they never showed up and I had more friends there than family. That was sad considering most of them took time out of work to be there and my family didn't work on the weekends. We didn't find out their lame reasons until after the renewal, but I didn't care. I was ticked at every one of them. DH and I had spent the money to rent a room to hold about 50 people and it ended up 12 people showed up.* My dilemma is this. My mom says I should invite everyone again to the shower, but don't want to bother wasting the money or time on them or hope they show up when they lie and say they can be there. Being pregnant, I've found I'm much more truthful and tend to hold people to their actions more. I just want to know people's opinions. Should I bother inviting them and just not get my hopes up? Should I maybe have the shower in that town so they have less of a drive? Or should I just not bother with them?


DJ_Jazzy - June 3

Hey Teddy...holy cow I can't believe you are already 16 weeks! Gender scan here we come! Anyway, I think the cheapest and easiest way to go about this is to do E-Vites for everyone. You can make really cute invitations online and then you e-mail them out to everyone! And I'm pretty sure it's free to do! That way you aren't spending the 42 cents an invite and you aren't leaving anyone out. And trust me, I completely understand you not wanting to even bother with them but what I've learned is sometimes is better to just avoid drama (especially with family). Hope this helps a little bit! Good luck and let me know what you decide to do!


Teddyfinch - June 3

good point, but unfortunately, not all of my family uses email lol. but we'll figure something out.


Julie - June 4

I'd just let whoever is planning it, to decide who to invite. I think you should give her a list of your friends and immediate family, etc... as the people you want to be sure get invited, and then beyond that, let them decide. I never had to worry about that. I just made sure that my close friends were invited and my sister took care of the rest. Maybe they can make some phone calls? Have a telephone tree thing, going on... Lol... Good Luck! I hope you find a way to resolve it without stressing out about it!


Teddyfinch - June 4

well, i have a list of family and their addresses, but even when we called last time they said they could go and never bothered to tell me they had changed their minds. that was the c___ppy part. and then they didn't think i had a reason to be upset. one of them went so far as to tell me to stop b___hing about it when i was talking to my cousin, not the aunt and i wasn't even whining. i was just telling her it sucked that people said they could come and then changed their minds and didn't bother letting me know. that was crummy and i don't even know if i'd want them to show up.


sphinx - June 6

tell your big sister that you want a surprise baby shower instead. I think your relatives will be more likely to show up if they think they are tricking you. Its just more fun so tell her to plan it and not to tell you the date, just make sure she can get you there on the right day.



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