The Whole Quot Want Twins Quot Thing

9 Replies
momtoboys - January 20

I have been on this website numerous times reading about women who want to have twins. I will be the first to admit that I want them. Mostly because I want more than one more child, but I don't really want to be pregnant again........................................So my question is this:....Is the "big controversy" that women want twins, or is it that they are wanting/using u/p clomid or lying to their dr.'s to do it?


Corona - January 20

The "big contoversy" is the illegal manouvers & teaching others how to get away with it!


twins4us - January 20

I think it is a bit of both. In my opinion using an illegal med w/o being under the care of a Dr is irresponsible, but hey that is just me. As far as wanting twins, hmmm...I guess I don't understand why someone wants a high risk pg, birth and a totally crazy first year with two newborn babies. Most ppl don't understand what being a parent of multiples entails.


momtoboys - January 20

Ture, most people don't know what they are asking for, and the risk of multiples is higher. But what is the harm in "wishing"? Sure, it will be crazy for the first couple of years, but I think God only gives you what you can handle. So, if you get multiples, regardless of how it happened (I'm not advocating anything here), what is the harm? If someone prays and wishes for multiples, but gets one, that was meant to be. If they pray and wish for one and they get multiples, that was what was meant to be. I'm not arguing one way or another about doing things to get twins, I was just wondering if the problem was people wanting twins, or people doing thing to try to get them.


Since you asked... - January 20

As someone who knows the heartbreak of infertility first hand, it personally upsets me to see women taking medication that they DO NOT need, simply to achieve the fantasy of multiples. I think it's incredibly irresponsible of those who take unprescribed Clomid, take foolish risks, and then lie about it to their partners and doctors. I'm sorry, but I have a problem with women who want twins because they don't want more than one pregnancy. That is the most selfish statement I've ever heard! Morning sickness, stretchmarks, bloating, etc. are part of the deal. Cherish the fact that your body is able to handle ONE pregnancy, as there are many women out there who cannot and would give up anything to be in your shoes. Have you even read the posts here? Many multiples moms are here as a result of NECESSARY infertility treatments. Have you no regard for their feelings? For "momtoboys," I think it's a little bit cavalier for you to say "sure, it will be crazy for the first couple of years..." I wonder if you've ever had even a singleton in the NICU for the first months of her life. I had it "easy" compared to my close friend who delivered twins at 30 weeks. I can't imagine the anguish, fear and difficulty of having more than one child to worry about. I am praying that we don't end up in that boat at the end of this pregnancy, and I know that my risk of it happening again is even greater now with twins. So in answer to the original question: I have no problems with women "wishing" for twins. It's going beyond the hoping and praying that I DO have a problem with. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I am starting to believe that the women who come here advocating unprescribed Clomid use are merely attention seekers. They want the "oohs" and "ahhs" of twins. Is it worth the price of your heath or the health of your babies to risk it all on a fantasy?


TripletMom - January 20

I have a problem with women who announce that they want twins, triplets and will try u/p drugs to get them (or prescribed for that matter). I can empathize with infertility issues and years of TTC, but never did I wish for multiples. NOONE, but a mother of multiples knows what is REALLY is like to carry and raise multiples. Sure having more than one is a blessing, but it comes with a lot of sacrifice, health issues (for some), long hospital stays (for some), etc. So I have a problem with both the use of u/p drugs and w/the sick desire of just multiples.


mama-beans - January 20

It's not the desire for multiples that is wrong.. it is acting on that desire. It IS a selfish desire... you want one pregnancy and 2 ( or more ) babies.... and you want that at the risk of THEIR health. I take issue with u/p clomid for the same reason "Since You Asked" stated... it is just morally and ethically wrong, not to mention illegal...


Frances - January 21

I think that women who concieve multiples by chance are both blessed and cursed. There are huge risks involved, and much worry and heartache and fatigue. These things do not always end happily. To purposely take clomid without a medical need for it is to make the risks tenfold. I think it is dangerous for the woman, but more dangerous to the fetus(s). Moreover, the risk is really transferred more to the fetus(s) than to the mother. That is why so many believe it is selfish. To put one's desires above another's well-being can be nothing but selfish. There is nothing wrong with simply desiring twins and praying for them or wishing for them.


yetanothertripletmom - January 21

I think the desire for multiples is sweet and innocent. Like daydreaming about being independently wealthy for a nano-second while I'm washing the dishes at night. A maid sure would be nice! LOL. It's deciding to cut down on my kids' milk and selling their medicine to pay for the maid that I find selfish. You asked "what's the harm?" I'll tell you. My triplets are amazing little miracles. But I spent 6 MONTHS on bedrest waiting for them to be born. I delivered at just over 32 weeks and spent the next few weeks watching them fight for their lives. They went through unimaginable agony in incubators. One of my sons has an inch long scar on his neck where the doctors placed a central line. They all have scars on their wrists and arms from IVs. Not pretty. Not cute. Not the multiples fantasy. God is so merciful and good because they are healthy 2 yr olds today. But there were dark days that I regretted ever becoming pregnant because my joy was their suffering. I felt guilt (that I've since worked through) and it really wasn't my fault. I took prescribed medication for real infertility. I can't imagine the guilt and horror I would have felt had I gotten pregnant with them on illegal clomid just to fulfil my selfish desires.


Frances - January 22

Very well said yetanothertripletmom. Thank you.



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