Have Vaginismus Had Thick Hymen Removed

31 Replies
ash - March 18

i had a hymenotomy last year because my hymen was too thick to break for intercourse with my husband. i also have vaginismus, a physical/psychological condition where i stiffen up and keep penetration from happening. We recently had intercourse for the first time after 2.5 years of trying!! I'm pretty tight down there but it's getting easier. I've never had a pap smear, and I've already decided a c-section is the way to go for me (still have thick hymenal tissue down there and want to avoid 3rd and 4th degree tears) when i get pregnant. we aren't using contraception at this time, just letting the Lord lead the way for us. but despite all the progress i've made, i don't know if i'll ever be able to truly endure a pelvic exam. i mean, I have a right to say no. i know it's a way to protect myself from disease but still have so much trauma in my life to get over. Anyone else ever avoid pelvic exams or know anyone like that?


Little Me - March 18

I am so sorry ash!!!!! It must be so hard on you. When my husband was breaking mine it took us about two weeks. It was painful, so painful I was pulling my hear, but I knew we had to do it..... Its still painful for me during s_x and its so frustrating when you can not enjoy s_x and relax because all it does for you is HURTS.... I cry all the time because of this issue, have talked to my doctor but still no answer. God bless you honey, keep posted :)


to ash - March 19

im 26 and have avoided pelvic exams,and am terrified of having one,im ttc and dont know what will happen when the time comes for examination,i'll probably end up refusing though,i know how you feel,i was also with my man for a long time before intercourse.


Lynn - March 27

I know how you feel. I decided when I was a kid that I would not have s_x before I got married. I was still a virgin when I had my 1st pelvic exam at age 30, and despite what all the experts say, they do hurt if your hymen is intact. I decided at age 37 to have a child (artificial insemination, no s_x.) I am a little worried about the exam and labor as well, but for the sake of the baby (if I get pregnant) I am willing to deal with it. Try to find an OBGYN who seems to understand the problem and is comforting during the 1st exam. If the first doctor you go to doesn't make you feel comfortible, find a better one. Surprisingly, the best OBGYN I went to was male. He was very considerate of my problem as well as the nurse who a__sisted him (she held my hand and told me to squeeze if the pain became too much.) Remember, the more comfortible you are with the doctor, the less stressed and stiff you will be. I hope this helps.


Summer - April 9

Ash, I am 26 years old and I also suffer from Vaginismus...and have been married for 6 months now. Last week I had my hymen removed and I was looking on the internet to see if it gets any better. I have tried but never been able to complete a pap smear.


***** - April 13

i didnt realise there were other people that went through this...i just thought i was weird!


Cutiepie - June 22

Hi ladies, I too have this condition and I am pregnant as we speak. I am very scared of all the things that are to come for me being pregnant, but I am trying to think it's worth it for the baby. I WAS able to have a pap smear thow, my doctor was so understanding and did it without the speculum. It still burned, but wasn't near as bad as I thought. I would suggest you ladies asking your doc if they will do this, when you get pregnant you really do need to have one, it's for your babies health and yours. I am so sorry you are going through this, I know how hard it is and I cry and get so upset about it all the time. **Hugs**


Angela - February 22

I realize this post was posted a long time ago, but today I was diagnosed with vaginismus and I am 17 weeks pregnant. It has kept my husband and I from enjoying s_x for the whole 6 years we've been married as well as not being able to get through an exam. I was wondering if anyone else suffers from this.


J - March 20

Does anyone have a success story for this? My girlfriend and I (both 24) have been trying to have s_x the past year, but she shrieks in pain even if I try to put one finger inside her. She wants to have s_x, wear tampons, and have an easier time at the gyno. We tried the dilater set, s_xual aids... Does this problem go away after the hymen is broken? As a guy, I am considering breaking up with her after three years because I am either frustrated that we can't have s_x or frustrated that she is too afraid to try.


L - April 3

I too have vaginismus.iam trying the dilators now .it still hurts. we've been married for 6 yrs .I feel so bad for my husband ,coz we never were able to enjoy intercourse.luckily he is so understanding an supportive.we are trying to have a baby .on top of all, i've been diagnosed with PCOS.I have to go through a lot o ultrasounds and that hurts too. i did have a papsmear but i was put to sleep.I hope God will help us all!!! now my only prayer is to get pregnant.Good luck all!!!


myrtle - March 31

I too have vaginismus. I was able to have s_x but it was getting progressively more painful. I went to a wonderful ob/gyn who referred me to a physical therapist who specialized in pelvic floor problems. It was truly the strangest therapy I've ever had and I didn't even know it existed but I'm so thankful for it. The PT, wonderful woman, manually manipulated trigger points and basically stretched me out. She also educated me about stretches I can do to relax the muscles down there and she gave me dilators. I have a small, medium, and large. I have not been real good at following through with the treatment as it is recommended to be done daily. So I basically use the dilators before s_x. But I know that if I was a little more dedicated I probably wouldn't even need to use the dilators at all. My husband is so happy about it and loves the fact that we can have positive experiences together and he doesn't have to feel like he's torturing me. Please, ladies, get help for this! Find a good ob/gyn who will refer you to a PT who specializes in women's tx. You deserve to have a s_x life! Good luck to you all! By the way, I am 7 weeks pregnant and looking forward to having my first child. Hopefully the delivery will cure my vaginismus!! I'm a little nervous about it but I have faith it will all work out!!! Take care!


bamm - April 24

I have never heard of this disorder. Do you believe there could be different degrees to this disorder. I did not have s_x with my husband for many years. When we did it was just painful. I cry at pelvic exams and having myDD was an experience. I cried at every dialation check so I did get a c-sec. I also had a large flap of skin removed at delivery. The doc said it was part of my hymen but i had no idea it could be so large. Does this sound at all like what you of girls experienced or is my problem less severe. My doc never once mentioned anyting like this to me. They all just act like I am a wuss.


fawna - June 1

This is 'ash.' Wow, I forgot I even posted this. Well, here it is over 2 years later. I can say the s_x has gotten better. I even had an orgasm once! I make sure I get really turned on first and then we start slow, usually ending at a much faster pace. Sometimes it does hurt, so then we stop, but I make sure to do other things for my husband, since I enjoy those things anyway. Still have not had a pap. Did visit a wonderful gyno since. We tried with the child speculum, but it was a no-go. I'm about to turn 24 and I haven't had any children yet. I'm trying to gather all my strength together to really get a pap/pelvic exam finally. If I can find the right doctor, then maybe it can be something I eventually do. Ladies, don't give up one the s_x. Men, start slow, very slow. It can get to be amazing. Really, it can. Bamm, I'd say you definitely have this disorder. Everyone check out vaginismus.com and there is a private yahoo group for it as well.


BRYWASH85 - March 2



fawna - March 7

This is Ash again. Again, I forgot that I completely posted here. A lot has changed in the last several months and new realizations have been made. I just don't have v____al intercourse anymore. It's not worth the pain and agony of so feeling like I've been raped every time. I tried to believe with all my heart that it was a wonderful experience but it wasn't. No amount of praying made me into a woman I was never meant to be. My husband is the one who insisted we not bother with it anymore and I agree with him. We are very loving and intimate without traditional s_x. So, kids aren't going to happen and if I ever have a pap, I'll have to be put to sleep for it. We all have limitations in our lives and I've chosen to accept mine. I think I'm happier to embrace what I can be rather than what is the norm. To Bry, call around and ask. For me having my hymen removed made it possible to try, but I still had years of vaginismus up against me. The treatment they recommend is also beyond me. Just do some research on what you want done. It's not a huge procedure and like I said before, definitely ask around.


bubbagirl - March 11

Dearest Ladies, I stumbled into this forum because I was concerned for my daughter. You see, I had vaginismus (undiagnosed, no ob/gyn I went to was even familiar with it. Found the term in the Merck Manual) and for our wedding night and subsequent 3 years of marriage, s_x was painful. It affected our marriage and everybody thought it was a mental problem on my part. Then, thanks be to God, I got pregnant and had my first daughter naturally. That stretched me out. [I also theorize that being on the pill while we were not wanting to be pregnant decreased my libido and "dried" me up such that s_x was nigh impossible. So for those of you on the pill, consider using different contraception and see if that affects anything.] Back to my daughter--I believe she suffers from the same condition. I am considering being proactive about this situation before she gets married and finding a ob/gyn who will help us with this. I also wanted to encourage and comfort those of you who are pregnant to consider having your baby v____ally. I DID NOT tear. There are good midwives out there who know how to prepare you for the pa__sage of the baby. I have had 3 babies now and have fantastic s_x. There is hope!


pregnantvirgin - June 5

hi bubbagirl, you are the only person i have found on the net who has said anything about how they went with their pregnancy and whether or not it helped your condition afterwards. i waited till i was married to have s_x, and gave up using tampons at a young age. my wonderful husband waited 4 yrs for me, and then we got married and was very understanding on our wedding night and the year following where all i would do was cry when we tried to have s_x. i no longer cry, emotionally i have tackled this issue, however we still have not managed to 'penetrate' at all. we call it practice now rather than s_x. lol here is my surprise tho, i got pregnant last year, and its a dream come true. i have spoken to my midwife which is when i discovered this was an actual condition, not just me, and she thinks i will be fine to give birth even tho i have never ever... in your post you say giving birth naturally stretched you out and you have now enjoyed s_x and have 3 kids. that is great to hear, i was wondering if you could tell me if you did anything to avoid tearing as that is a worry for my midwife, and i am simply hoping that giving birth will help me have s_x? if its not too personal, is there any advice or clarity you could give me??? i give birth to my daughter in a month! even if you cant help, thanks for your post, its a relief to know that someone did give birth naturally and get on with their s_x life.



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